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Posts Tagged ‘sadness’

Farewell

Farewell
by Nina Spink

 

I watched you cross the room
with purpose, dimmed the light.
You pulled me in your arms
and took me, there, that night.

Confused and dazed you left me
My heart screeched out in pain
I knew then that I’d loved you
But would hold you not again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh3bleXWaCk

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Beneath

Beneath
By Nina Spink

There’s a beauty in this landscape
Though the mist obscures its view
There’s an eerie sense of tranquility
known only to the precious few

And as you tread through sodden grass
to the gate at the distant end
tears seep into your shoes
through the holes you forgot to mend

If you scratch away the paintwork
from the lock upon the gate
you will see the rust spots poorly patched
Repairs done in much haste

Though there’s years of sad neglect
of resignation etched upon its plaque
tell-tale signs of reparation
reveal a heart that’s not all black

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Turmoil

Turmoil
by Nina Spink

There’s a screaming inside your head
Ever present, casting doubt
Is it frustration, fear or passion
Which causes your mind to shout?

There’s an empty space of yearning
A craving from within
A gaping wound, an aching void
Stripped bare beneath the skin

Deep in the pit of your stomach
A pain pierces like a dart
Tears choke back in your throat
It’s a sadness in your heart

There’s a hollow sense of victory
When each day comes to an end
As the steps stretch out in front
The mountain you must still ascend

With heavy limbs and even heavier heart
You climb the thirteen stairs
You fall into bed, switch off the light
But neglect to say your prayers

No respite comes, as hours tick by
Shadows swirl in unconscious stream
Secrets swim in nightmares caught
To drown in restless dream

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Best Friends

Best friends

by Nina Spink


He speaks my name
And I can scarcely breathe
I turn my head
for a second I live

Then misty eyes
choking back my tears
times flooding back
from all those years

I’ve been away
For so very long
I’d remembered his voice
so rich, so strong

And yet once more
I feel this pain
from which I’d fled
to escape in vain

My eyes drawn to how
His arms about you clutch
All these wasted years
I’d longed for his touch

Faces smiling out
From ornate silver frame
I cant share that joy
For I still feel the same

Best friends for nigh on fifteen years
And yet you’ll never know
the heartbreak that I keep inside
my secret, not to hurt you so

So friend, again I’ll say goodbye
It’s time that I depart
For no, I don’t love him, not a bit
No …. Just with all my heart

This was an experimental poem of past, present and future feelings contained in one aspect poem. There is a change in rhythm from vs 1 – 4 (past) at vs 5 & 6 (present) and again vs 7 & 8 (future).
It was not intentional the rhythm change but I quite like it and quite by accident in my writings the past reads along quite speedy, breathlessly recalling past events. Then the present rhythm almost awkward – I can feel the downcast eyes, avoiding eye contact and shuffling feet. Finishing with the final 2 future verses almost a song of resignation and an air of moving away quickly.

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The Flower of the Garden Gate

by Nina Spink


I grew flowers in my garden
Tending them with love and care
They grew beautiful and strong
Their fragrance filled the air

They were a joy to look on
Both inside and without
The sun displayed their beauty
The rain their scent would shout

My garden was a walled one
With safety held inside
No weeds or exotics ventured
To spoil or there reside

The sun shone and the rain fell
Each season throughout the year
Then one Summer warm and gentle
A new species did appear

Attracted by its fragility
Charmed by its beguiling shape
Its strange and vibrant colours
It adorned my garden gate

And this lovingly I tended
Its frail nature nurtured strong
Enticing birds and bees and beetles
My garden full with song

I grew to love its strangeness
Its raw yet heady perfume
Surprised at passions stirring
A most intoxicating bloom

I didn’t see its tendrils
Spread out to hold me fast
Mistook them for a friendship
Not heart’s sole deadly grasp

All Summer long I lingered
Within the garden safe
Each day and night I’d visit
The flower of the garden gate

Never tiring of its beauty
Enchanted within its scheme
To have found my perfect blossom
I was happy in extreme

As Summer languished idly
My blooms that year to die
I watched them fade before me
Not realizing, so would I

Spring green brought forth its beauty
Yet again my gardens bloom
More beautiful than ever
But lacked that strange perfume

Though many a year has passed
Through sunshine, wind and rain
My gardens filled with flowers
No gate flower appeared again

Now Winter visits my garden
Earth covered with blanket deep
I mourn the passing Summers
For Spring my eyes do weep

And oft times when I glance back
Once beauty held my being
Hot tears of silent longing
Endless flows from eyes unseeing

Despite my desperate yearning
and memories long since held
I am blessed it came to visit
if only once, it dwelled

I should not bewail its passing
But rejoice in err it came
Buying untold joy and passion
Its payment … enduring pain

I will forever treasure
The gift of love so great
With wonder tinged with sadness
Oh! my flower of the garden gate

NS
April 2009

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My Parting Gift

by Nina Spink


If there was but one gift I could give you, it would be love.
To know it deeply, to experience it frequently, and for it to last indefinitely.

That it could not be mine would be of little import
Just to know you were taken care of would suffice.

For someone of such beautiful heart with so much love to give
Not to have it freely offered in abundance is a crime,
A source of great sadness to me.

If there was but one wish I could wish for you it would be happiness
For you not to tread the boards of regret or use the props of remorse
But instead be free of grief as you dance on the stage of life.

For someone of such integrity and talent not to be able to express oneself
With a clear and honest conscience would be a crying shame,
A cause of great anguish to me.

If there was but one characteristic I could bestow on you, it would be strength
Of character, of endurance to cope with life’s spiteful little “jokes”
and for you to laugh back as you pass through the vales of sorrows and cares

And so….

If there was but one gift I could leave you, it would be love.
To know it deeply, to experience it frequently, and for it to last indefinitely.

Nina Spink

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